One thing I can never find in the grocery store is lemon juice. I walk down every aisle, scanning top to bottom. (No, I don't ask anyone where it is! Duh! Do you think I want to look like a total moron?!)
The first aisle that makes sense is the pop aisle. Green plastic bottles...Sprite, lemon-lime...no...nothing here.
Could it be in the baking aisle? It seems like an ingredient-y thing. Not something you eat straight, obviously. Do you bake with lemon juice? I don't know. I can't remember a single thing you do with lemon juice. I don't even know why the hell it's on my list. All I know is that like 10 times recently I've thought, "Damn! I need to get some lemon juice! Lime is not even close to the same thing!"
For some reason I feel like I ought to see it next to the olive oil. Do people put it on salads sometimes? I stop and examine a nice brand of California extra virgin with a cool label. I figure out that I get it for half the price at Mr. G's. That's like the same unit price as the big Capatriti can, but American made so I know that it's actually olive oil. Sweet. But no lemon juice here. I remember. I used to put it in homemade mayonnaise. Not that I need it for that. Can't remember the last time I made that. But maybe it's with the salad dressing.
No? Seriously? That's like four aisles now. All there is left is the peanut butter aisle and then I'm basically in the freezer section! After that, dog food, toilet paper, pantyhose, cheap hot dog rolls, yogurt! Lemon juice is not going to be with any of those!
I'm starting to doubt. Come on, peanut butter aisle, don't let me down. Turns out there's a lot more stuff than Fluff in the peanut butter aisle that I never buy, like juice. Juice, okay, I think orange juice and that's refrigerated, near the milk. No this is like, just...juice. In plastic bottles, cranberry, grape, who knows...Ok, I'll admit it, I know about this kind of juice. I do buy it. I started buying it recently--but just at Mr. G's. I have never bought it at a regular grocery store. But next to the juice, on the top shelf, in a green bottle...is...lemon juice.
I mean, of course! Why wouldn't I thought of looking for it there?! It makes perfect sense! Who doesn't love a little glass with their afternoon snack? I'm sure someone puts it in their cheap decaf coffee. And don't tell me you haven't heard of PB&LJ sandwiches! Oh, you haven't? Neither have I. I made them up. Because like I said, I have no idea what I'm going to do with this stuff. But at least now I have it.
You know the weirdest place I've found lemon juice? In the produce section. With the lemons. I think it was a marketing ploy, kinda like putting orange juice in the produce section to make it seem fresher.
ReplyDeletePersonally, I think there ought to be a dewey decimal type system for grocery stores. Otherwise you end up with our current situation of individual stores putting things who knows where.